21 Thoughts Everyone Has When They're Looking for a New Job
No one enjoys the process of trying to find a new job. Whether you’re out of work, or just looking to get out of the hell-hole you spend most of your waking hours in, job-hunting is often soul-destroying, tedious, and time-consuming. So here are some thoughts that anyone looking for a change of career will be familiar with.
1. Ooh. £55k a year, plus benefits? Screw it, I'm not even slightly qualified, but I'll apply anyway. You never know.
2. Yes, I can totally do this job! Oh. They want a minimum of five years' experience in that industry. Well, that’s me out.
3. This advert doesn't actually say what the company is. Or what it does. Not applying for that, I might get sold into slavery.
4. I've applied with them about five times before, but who knows? Sixth time lucky, maybe.
5. Crap. I spelled my name wrong at the end of that application... That can't be a good thing.
6. Can I just use the same cover letter for all of these? They're basically the same, and cover letters are such a pain to write.
7. WHY? Why do you need me to fill in a six-page application form? All of this information is on my CV, can't I just send you that?
8. Oh, another missed call from a recruitment agency who will contact me once, promise me the ideal job, then I'll never hear from them again. Brilliant.
9. I really ought to cut my CV down to fit two sides, but I NEED that stuff about volunteering in Belarus, it's the only interesting thing I've done.
10. Oh. They're always looking for people, which is meant to be a bad sign. No thanks.
11. God damn these job websites - what was my password for this one? Why didn't I just make them all the same?
12. Who should I use as another referee? Can I use my mum, and just change her surname?
13. There must be someone I could pay to do all of this for me.
14. I'm not exactly passionate about property maintenance, but I'd better make it sound as if it's all I ever think about.
15. 'Why did you leave your last job?' What's a good way of saying, 'Because my boss was an idiot and I wanted more money to put up with his crap?'
16. Do I know anyone who can get me a decent job? Nepotism seems to be the way forward.
17. Ah, online assessments. My favourite...
18. I should probably look into the company a bit more... meh. I'll do it if I get an interview.
19. What's another word for, 'Hard-working'? I've used, 'Industrious' too many times already.
20. 'Advanced knowledge of Microsoft Office essential'. I know how to use Clip Art, and I can make things bold. Close enough.
21. Hooray! Interview! Oh God. What if real me isn’t as good as paper me?
Written By Sam Scott. You can follow her on twitter here: